I got two new dresses today from Primark. :) 
And some bikinis but I don’t think I should post pictures of those for the sake of your eyes!! 
And I’m going to pizza express tonight and have literally 0 anxiety about it. Feels good. 

Anonymous asked
i'm sorry you hear voices, that must be scary. can you not get medication for that?*hugs*

Thanks for the hugs and the nice message. 

I take Haloperidol already which is helping. Just sometimes I have bad days where things get worse. 

I couldn’t sleep last night because of the voices. They were incessant. A woman, a man and Him. Talking, shouting.

I think I finally fell asleep around 5am, which meant i ruined the nice day out we had planned because I was too tired to get up. I feel bad because it would have been fun, but I guess we can do it another day. 

I’ve wanted to restrict all day but managed my meals and snacks okay. Feel incredibly large though and I’m jealous of people who are thinner than me. Which is ridiculous. Anyway. 

It’s my 2 year anniversary tomorrow, and we’re staying in a fancy hotel and going for dinner. Excited :) 

foodisnotanumber:

Reminders:

  • Recovery is always an option.
  • You are never “too sick” to recover.
  • You are never “not sick enough” to recover.
  • Recovery is hard, but it is worth it.
  • You have more strength than you could ever imagine.
  • You can get through this.
  • You can get better.
  • You are worth more than your mental illness.

eloiseonthewater said: Maybe plan enough that you feel calm enough to manage your other meals? In the context of everything you’re doing at the moment if planning makes you feel calmer (not in order to restrict) then maybe you need more time before complete unplannedness

Thanks. 
Thing is, part of my still wants to restrict. I’m pretty much maintaing my weight at the moment but I don’t like that. 
I’m so messed up.
Everything is too much
I like the planning idea. Thanks <3

  1. dearjennie said: You are strong. You are so, so strong, and you can do this. <3
  2. eloiseonthewater said: I think what has to give is thinking you should be coping, sailing through this or that this is about strength or weakness. This is incredibly hard but every time you use the bad ways to cope or to get him to be quiet/not mad you’re letting him grow.

Thank you <3 

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